Random Acts of Kindness Make the Word Go ‘Round!

I was really touched by a stranger’s random act of kindness on Monday. My thirteen-year-old daughter, Mia, went to Mooyah restaurant after school with some friends. She ordered some fries and a drink for herself and a friend, but when she reached into her bag for her wallet, she realised she’d forgotten it. She apologised to the cashier, cancelled the order and sat down. A couple of minutes later, a waiter brought a buzzer to her table and she didn’t understand why. The waiter explained that the Qatari lady who was in the queue behind her had bought a meal each for her and her friend. When she went to the lady to say thank you, the lady told her that she felt like they were her own kids and there was no way she could let them sit down without food and a drink.

I honestly felt like crying when Mia told me! It was such a sweet gesture. It also felt so lovely and reassuring that when my children are out and about, navigating this world by themselves, without me being right there to tend to every need and solve every problem, that there are other good souls who will go out of their way to help them and make their day a little bit easier and brighter.

My Mia Cinnamon in Wagamamas on Valentines Day this year.

I think selfless, impulsive acts of kindness like this are the purest form of giving; when no-one else knows about it, it's unsolicited, it's for the benefit of a complete stranger and you're fully aware that you're not going to get anything in return in the form of reward, recognition or favour.

It’s easy to get caught up in the onslaught of sensational media headlines trying to convince us that the world is a terrible place full of selfish people. However, it’s small incidents like this that help to reaffirm our faith in humanity. I firmly believe that most people are intrinsically good and, on balance, this wonderful world of ours is full of love and kindness that so often gets overshadowed when we focus on the minority of events and incidents that aren’t so positive.

Little acts of kindness also tend to have a disproportionately big effect on people. When I shared this incident on my Facebook page, my friends detailed their own experiences of being on the receiving end of kindness from strangers. Each small gesture had clearly made a huge impact on them. It made me think about how marvellous it is that we can make someone’s day, enhance their outlook, give them something to talk about appreciatively and offer an enduring positive memory, just by doing something unexpected and thoughtful for them.

I like to think that these little gestures also create a domino effect; when the recipient is made to feel touched and happy, and they realise how good it feels to be on the receiving end of random kindness, they’ll not only feel more inspired to do the same for others, but their positive mood will have an uplifting effect on those around them, who, in turn, are more likely to treat people they encounter in a good-natured way. These knock-on consequences make the original act so much more powerful!

In my experience, small negative encounters with people tend to fade into history and it becomes very difficult to recall details, or even whole incidents, because the impressions they left were fleeting and, usually, relatively inconsequential. Little positive encounters, however, remain etched into my heart and serve as happy, lifelong memories.

I remember being on holiday in Los Angeles, California, with the family, in 2004. My husband and I had just two children back then. We were strolling along, pushing fourteen-month-old Lyla in a buggy and holding two-year-old Ruby’s hand, when a car came by and a woman leant out of the open window shouting, “You guys are beautiful, truly beautiful!” How could we not smile?! This woman didn’t have to say that, she just took it upon herself to share some positive energy and brighten some strangers’ day, which she absolutely did!

Ruby, Lyla and Me, Los Angeles 2004.

Another time, on a family holiday to Hawaii in 2007, with three children in tow, we had gone a bit mad in a wholefood shop, unable to resist all the healthy, delicious looking fare that had caught our eyes. When we went to pay, however, the cashier said that she was temporarily unable to accept credit cards. George told her that he’d quickly run to the cashpoint machine just outside the shop, when the middle-aged lady behind us said, “It’s on me,” and put some notes in the cashier’s hand. We tried to insist that she didn’t pay, but she wasn’t taking no for an answer and smiled warmly as she explained that it was her pleasure. We were absolutely stunned and deeply touched by her generosity.

Ruby, Lyla and Mia in Honolulu, Hawaii, 2007.

Ruby, Lyla and Mia in Maui, Hawaii, 2007.

Fast forward to California again in 2008, we were on another holiday with Ruby, Lyla and Mia and I was five months pregnant with Ivy. We were visiting the amusement park on Santa Monica pier, when a young family came up to us and the husband explained that they’d bought way too many vouchers to use on the rides and arcade games, and they were leaving, so they’d decided that they’d like to gift them to us. There were so many, we hardly had to spend a penny! We felt totally overwhelmed by their kindness.

Lyla flying high! Santa Monica Pier, 2008.

George squeezing in to join Mia on her ride! Santa Monica Pier, 2008.

George, Lyla, Mia and Ruby, Santa Monica Boulevard, 2008.

A few days later, we were in an Oshkosh children’s clothing store in San Diego and there was a sale on, so I’d lost all control, picking out lots of gorgeous pieces for my girls and the baby. When we got to the cashier and were presented with the total bill, the colour drained from George's face! I think the cashier could sense he was a bit shocked, so she said, “I’m going to go ahead and apply my 25% employee discount for you guys today.” We couldn’t believe how kind that was!

Ruby, Mia and Lyla, San Diego Beach, 2008.

Lyla, Mia and Ruby, San Diego, 2008.

After leaving the same store, a beautiful black American family came up to us and told us that they’d purchased a pretty hairband for their daughter, but they thought it would suit our eldest daughter a lot better and gave it to us! It was an impulsive moment of pure generosity and it made our hearts sing. We started to feel that America was jam-packed full of altruistic people who loved going out of their way to make others feel happy!

Ruby, Lyla and Mia, San Diego, 2008.

I could detail so many more incidents that have happened over the years, but these ones stand out the most because they not only put a spring in our step and made us feel buoyed and touched by the kindness of complete strangers, but they left us with a very positive impression of the USA and Americans in general. It’s remarkable how small gestures can shape your wider view.

Of course, on each of these occasions, we expressed our sincere thanks and gratitude to these lovely people. I always like to make it clear how much these kind displays of thoughtfulness and generosity mean to us. When Mia received a meal from the lady in Mooyah on Monday, she also thanked her, of course. However, I felt that I wanted to show my appreciation to this lady too, for treating my child with such unexpected kindness, so I shared the incident on a Doha community Facebook page in the hope that she would read it. The post had over 2000 likes/loves and many positive comments, one of the last of which was from the lady herself. She wasn’t Qatari after all, but she was an Arab lady called Amina. I expressed my deep gratitude and she said that it was normal for her and it was a pleasure to make my daughter happy. She clearly has a beautiful heart. That’s also one of the greatest things about random acts of kindness, though, they make the giver feel as good as the receiver. Being generous, thoughtful and benevolent is endlessly good for the soul.

Of course, this is now a great opportunity for Mia to pay it forward and extend the same level of kindness towards someone she doesn’t know. However, I like to think that it is in our kids’ natures to carry out random acts of kindness in any case, even when it’s not been initiated by a generous gesture towards them. In my view, kindness is the most commendable, and important, of human attributes. It doesn't matter what else you are; if you're kind, you're going to make a positive difference in this world. So, as a family, we try to consistently promote the virtues of kindness and compassion, to all living beings, not just through rhetoric, but by example. An unexpected compliment, a helping hand, an unanticipated gift, all help to light up people's lives. It’s good for us, it’s good for others and it generally just makes the world a much brighter place!